Desolate

This is my most recent drawing and I'm still in a very amateur stage in my ability... at least there's progress :)... Originally my intentions were to draw a zombie, but I definitely got sidetracked again, I've never followed through my original intentions in any drawing I've created, it always manages to become something else, but I digress. 

Mostly what this drawing reminds me of is the end of the film "Resident Evil" where the protagonist is newly released from a hospital without her memory and is left abandoned in a post-apocalyptic metropolis. The last few seconds of the film is a widening shot of her armed with a shotgun from an abandoned squad car. As the shot widens and zooms out, her desolation in this tragedy stricken world is emphasized as the dangers that surround her are made apparent. I've realized that the concept at the end of this film is a concept that is seldom absent in my favorite films. This concept is that point in the hero's journey, the "Nadir", where there is no where else to go but up. Where the only option a person has, is to face whatever demons lie ahead. Put simply, I love that concept. There have been many occasions in my life that have lead to moments such as the one I've attempted to depict in my drawing. Not moments where all I'm armed with is a machete and a shotgun, but moments where the situation might be overbearing and there lies the desolate choice to continue. 

Unfortunately, It's a choice I haven't always been able to make. I admit that there has been times where my response to these situations has been inactivity, a vicarious choice to give up. As much as I lack pride during these times, regret is just as absent. Any fear I might have felt... any discomfort that might have inhibited my response, acts as a virus that my body (or mind) immunizes. I learn from my mistakes, and from those mistakes I am armed with the necessary weapons to face the demons that lie ahead. Ultimately, when the desolate choice arises once more, I'll have my "shotgun."