Religion

(I love this picture because it completely encompasses the "God" -like attitude people have towards their favorite musicians, and why shouldn't they be? They answer the same questions others look to god for)

I tried to look for a picture that demonstrated my love for music, and although this picture I took doesn't quite do the job, I like to share it because it just simply is an awesome picture, especially when about everyone surrounding you is completely ready to attack at any moment (That's what this kind of music does to people crammed in a small area for over an hour). I'm a very comparative person when it comes to interests, and music, being an interest is ultimately a main comparative when meeting people. I like hearing what other people like and ultimately I love that everyone in the world has the ability to like different things  from each other. Music is a very large part of my life, I unfortunately don't play any instruments but I do love to listen to music. I find something in it I don't typically find in other things. I read books, and all I find is a story, I sort of need all of the messages to be spelled out for me. The same sort of goes for film which I'm better at deciphering the meaning out of but it's not the same as in music. Typically though I don't know about their true meanings, the meanings I find in them I can bet are very far off from the true, intended meanings. A song that I've recently found to be very political, I've interpreted differently in order to make sense of my life. Then I thought about it and realized, That's what religion is, people all over the globe search for some meaning or answer to the questions unanswerable in life and they search typically through religion. wether its a story about Moses or Noah, all the stories are a message, all religion is, is the attempt to answer the questions we want answered. That's what music is to me; Answers to my questions. Why should I even get up today? What's wrong with this world? What's wrong with me? Is it all even worth it? I get different answers to these questions sometimes, but ultimately what I all that matters is that Music pushes me to set aside these questions and proceed with my life, even if it is just temporary. 

Manifest Destiny

                                       

I'm not too into the photography realm of thinking; I don't really understand contrast or composition or any of the terminology for it. My roommate Dylan is especially good at it though, every day he comes back with spectacular photos he shot that day; they are completely surreal and beyond any professional work I've seen. I remember one he showed me after he came back from the beach. Typically I'm not a big fan of people who take sunset shots because of how easily a person is able to capture a moment as beautiful as a sunset. My photo above is a perfect example, I was on a bus and just took out my phone and clicked a button, that's it... and I got exactly what I wanted, which was a beautiful sunset, it was much too easy. But Dylan, that day came back from the beach with a sunset shot, but that's not all, the picture was a shot of the the sunset as it silhouetted an island not far from shore, as a wave crashed upon the island. Out of all of the pictures he's showed me, that one was my favorite. Anyways I feel like veering off the subject and back to the discussion about sunsets. there's a very interesting quote I saw about how the reason the west is the most prominent is because of the sunset. That all who wish to complete or feed their sense of fulfillment head towards the sunset to catch the last rays of light as the sun falls through the horizon. Daniel Day Lewis, who I believe is an actor wrote or said that... But back to Dylan. When he explained to me his interest in writing he talked about how his grandfather was a World War II photographer, so what it seemed like was, photography was in his blood. As if he was meant to do it, he pursues photography as if he knew he was supposed to. Maybe its similar to the 'Manifest Destiny" idea, the self-fulfillment of knowing what you want and "pursuing it mercilessly", This whole concept definitely makes me think about what I love enough to pursue mercilessly. Not that I have to think about it, Film pops up immediately, I love film more than anything else in the world, and thats all there is to it... the only trouble I have is the pursuit of it, I don't seem to have the right drive... Maybe I should start making one...

Desolate

This is my most recent drawing and I'm still in a very amateur stage in my ability... at least there's progress :)... Originally my intentions were to draw a zombie, but I definitely got sidetracked again, I've never followed through my original intentions in any drawing I've created, it always manages to become something else, but I digress. 

Mostly what this drawing reminds me of is the end of the film "Resident Evil" where the protagonist is newly released from a hospital without her memory and is left abandoned in a post-apocalyptic metropolis. The last few seconds of the film is a widening shot of her armed with a shotgun from an abandoned squad car. As the shot widens and zooms out, her desolation in this tragedy stricken world is emphasized as the dangers that surround her are made apparent. I've realized that the concept at the end of this film is a concept that is seldom absent in my favorite films. This concept is that point in the hero's journey, the "Nadir", where there is no where else to go but up. Where the only option a person has, is to face whatever demons lie ahead. Put simply, I love that concept. There have been many occasions in my life that have lead to moments such as the one I've attempted to depict in my drawing. Not moments where all I'm armed with is a machete and a shotgun, but moments where the situation might be overbearing and there lies the desolate choice to continue. 

Unfortunately, It's a choice I haven't always been able to make. I admit that there has been times where my response to these situations has been inactivity, a vicarious choice to give up. As much as I lack pride during these times, regret is just as absent. Any fear I might have felt... any discomfort that might have inhibited my response, acts as a virus that my body (or mind) immunizes. I learn from my mistakes, and from those mistakes I am armed with the necessary weapons to face the demons that lie ahead. Ultimately, when the desolate choice arises once more, I'll have my "shotgun."